Tag Archives: alternative facts

Vote for Love, Vote for Walrus

The “people” over at arkive.org seem to be under the impression that the Walrus is somehow a contender for the World’s Favourite Unloved Species. Obviously the Walrus is the most loved species in the universe, so we encourage our readers NOT TO VOTE FOR WALRUS. Instead, vote for the filthy Greenland sharks (do you SEE how nasty that water is?).

Filthy greenland shark in it’s self-polluted habitat.

When the Walrus does not we, we will take that as a sign of our victory. It’s also important to note that this false and invalid contest only lets you pick one category, when the Walrus would fit all of them (except for facing threats, there is no threat to Walrus other than the challenge of too much cash money).

The grand and glorious Walrus fits all of these options.

DONATE NOW TO PREVENT THIS HORRIFIC CONTEST FROM HAPPENING EVER AGAIN. AND TO FIX MY caps lock KEY.