Tag Archives: festivus

Festivus Campaign Drive Ending Soon

Dear Beloved,

Our annual Festivus Campaign Drive is coming to a close this week. Your continued and generous donations of cash, fan art, and assorted other goods are what sustain us. Thank you so very much for being devoted acolytes of the Walrus Association of America. Stay safe, stay warm, and above all stay fat.

With love and furry mustaches,
The WAA Team

P.S. There’s still time to make a donation (or a second! or a third!) before the end of the campaign!

It’s that time of the year again where we pester you for donations of money and other valuable things (something we totally don’t do during the rest of the year)! The Biannual Walrus Festivus Campaign Drive is fun-filled fundraising event that exploits the need for people to feel good about themselves by donating a large portion of their money to “charities”. At least some of the funds we receive this season will be used to develop a new line of WAA branded teas and hoodies. Initial findings indicate the Tuna flavoured tea is an underserved market that could produce billions of profits and will be wildly successful in the Congo and Tunisia. Head on over to our donate page and send us your cash, money, valuables, and baked goods. We promise that you will feel better for it!*

In addition, the money where

Thank you for your continued support! (tightwads…)

*All promises are non-binding and will not be honoured by anyone. We deny all promising and results.

Festivus Campaign Drive

Yes, it’s that time of the year again where we pester you for gifts of money and other things of value! Don’t you just love it? We certainly do! Last year’s campaign was a smashing success, raising over $20 to fund our organisation’s needs. This year we’re settings our goals high with a target of 100€ in total donations. That’s right, we’re aiming to see an increase of 500%. Coming into the new year, we have a lot of lofty goals in mind so each and every donation is paramount. When interviewed about last year’s drive, our beautiful and loving supporters had the following to say:

“I just love donating money to charitable organisations like yours. It’s like throwing money into a fire without the risk of burning your hut down!” ~Anonymous

“If I give you a quarter will you leave me alone?” ~Janet

“I’m so confused” ~Llama

Thanks for all the support guys! Remember to donate now!