Very soon, the heir to the Walrus throne will be born in the northern reaches of Quebec. The mother, Arnaliaq, and unborn prince live at the Aquarium du Québec, a massive fortress found in the heart of the empire.
What is even more insane is the presence of the child’s half-sibling in the same place. The products of a creepy love triangle with Boris, Arnaliaq’s baby is due in April, and Samka’s should be born in June.
Our annual Festivus Campaign Drive is coming to a close this week. Your continued and generous donations of cash, fan art, and assorted other goods are what sustain us. Thank you so very much for being devoted acolytes of the Walrus Association of America. Stay safe, stay warm, and above all stay fat.
With love and furry mustaches,
The WAA Team
P.S. There’s still time to make a donation (or a second! or a third!) before the end of the campaign!
This just in! Someone who will remain anonymous until indicating otherwise has had this to say about walrus:
Please note that WAA has interpreters and scientists working on this as we speak. We are taking all things into consideration, but we decline to comment at this time.
Hey guys! We have some fabulous news here at the Walrus Association of America: we are officially welcoming our glorious leader, Arch Z. Rushred, to our organisation. Arch is basically the closest a human can get to being a walrus, which is the highest honour anyone could have. We are constantly in awe of how fabulously he runs this totally-not-non-for-profit company, especially his skills at staying on top of communicating with his oldest and dearest friends from the motherland. Actually, he is so wonderful we wish we could raise his salary, which you can actually help with! Simply donate now and improve the chances that he will get his monthly food ration!