Tag Archives: vote

Vote for Love, Vote for Walrus

The “people” over at arkive.org seem to be under the impression that the Walrus is somehow a contender for the World’s Favourite Unloved Species. Obviously the Walrus is the most loved species in the universe, so we encourage our readers NOT TO VOTE FOR WALRUS. Instead, vote for the filthy Greenland sharks (do you SEE how nasty that water is?).

Filthy greenland shark in it’s self-polluted habitat.

When the Walrus does not we, we will take that as a sign of our victory. It’s also important to note that this false and invalid contest only lets you pick one category, when the Walrus would fit all of them (except for facing threats, there is no threat to Walrus other than the challenge of too much cash money).

The grand and glorious Walrus fits all of these options.

DONATE NOW TO PREVENT THIS HORRIFIC CONTEST FROM HAPPENING EVER AGAIN. AND TO FIX MY caps lock KEY.

Vote for WalrusCoin™ now!

about

“Well, it works fine unless you do something it doesn’t like.”
Official WalrusCoin™ Slogan

Customer reviews are RAVING

“You’re winning up until you lose.”
Leslie from Pawnee

“It’s not broken, it’s a feature.”
Jonn from Bollywood

“If it crashes, well, now you know what not to do.”
Will from Wilmington

“It wouldn’t crash if you would stop throwing at baron.”
Nubslayer420 from Ur Mom

“Still higher Elo than you.”
Arpad Elo, inventor of Elo

What are you waiting for? When the polling booths open this November, remember to check the box for WalrusCoin™ today!